I have been reading the Book of Job, the New Living Translation version of the Bible, and wonder whether, how, why, and even if one human being could endure so much tragedy.
In the blink of an eye, four messengers arrive to tell Job the bad news: first, that all his donkeys and oxen were stolen and his farmhands killed; second, that fire fell from heaven and buned up all his sheep and shepherds; third, that raiders took his camels and killed his servants, and fourth, that winds knocked down a house and killed all his children.(Chapter 1, Verses 13-19)
Was this a literal story or a biblical parable? Whichever one you believe, this is about as much bad news as a person can possibly experience, and it all came in a flash.
Most of us have been hit with bad news, some worse than others. This week, while on vacation visiting relatives in Florida, we received a phone call that a family friend, only 22 years old, died in a horrific one-car accident. My heart is heavy with grief. There are so many thoughts, concerns, questions, doubts, and feelings. You can't really sort them out, let alone come to any reasonable conclusions.
Tim Conklin was a special person, someone who loved life and cared about others and had a smile that made you feel welcome and important. He was an individual, he was not a follower. He was smart, witty, funny, and an all around good kid. He went to Toledo Christian School, in my daughter Lisa's class, so I watched him grow up playing sports and hanging out with the classmates from an early age.
He came to my first book signing at Murphy's Place just to show support, and most recently we watched the Ohio State-Florida football game at the Johnsons' house. Tim told me he wanted to come over and watch a Duke basketball game with me sometime, knowing that I have three daughters and none of them are sports fans. I told him I would love it.
Tim was one course short of his college degree, worked overnight at a freight company, and found it in his heart to sponsor two needy children living in impoverished countries overseas, sending in monthly contributions to a Christian ministry that pays for the children's food, clothing, education, and other essentials.
I planned my Florida trip around the 24-hour road race at Daytona, which I attended with one of my brothers and a group of friends I've known since high school. I'm thinking how crazy it is that cars are such a big part of American life, from basic transportation to mere entertainment, and yet they are so dangerous.
On a practical level, I wonder when is humankind going to create a mode of transportation that does not cause so many tragic deaths. What will it take?
On a spiritual level, I wonder how a young man like Tim, with such a big heart and so much promise, who has touched so many lives already and had virtually unlimited potential, be taken away so suddenly?
I wish I knew, but I don't.
But I read Job's words and I try to keep them in my heart and in my spirit: After the four messengers depart, he falls to the ground and cries out to God and says, "The Lord gave me eveything I had, and the Lord has taken it away. Praise the name of the Lord!"
"In all of this, the Bible continues, "Job did not sin by blaming God."
People want answers, they want the loose ends tied up like they do on 30-minute TV dramas or in Hollywood movies. Life's not like that. We have to deal with loose ends. We have to realize that some things we just don't know and there are some questions we cannot get answers to or understand in this life.
As Apostle Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 13:12, "Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known."
My heart aches for Tim's family and his friends, and for my daughters who loved him so much. And for everyone who knew him, because he touched so many lives. I don't have answers, but I am trusting the Bible to believe that someday I will "know fully."
In the meantime, I am reminded by Job not to fall into the sin of blaming God.
Tampa, Florida, January 30, 2007.